Farmer Ron

Isabelle and Dennis went strawberry picking, but they DID NOT enjoy the animals while there! The government forbids the Coonamessett Farm from referring to the miniature donkeys, dwarf goats and babydoll sheep as entertainment. Even Peanut, the giant tortoise, is forbidden from causing any hoopla. We know this because we received this hilarious email from Farmer Ron:


Hi Everyone,

Well we are still awaiting our last two Jamaican employees to gain approval to enter the country for the 15th time. Our government makes this so difficult; you would think we were asking to drill an oil well a mile beneath the sea. I can understand the government’s concern; if we let in one too many Jamaican chefs it could have severe consequences to the gastronomical landscape. Think of all the chickens and pigs that could end up covered in cooking oil! Green fields of Callaloo sautéed in oil. Plantains and Festival Dumplings fried in oil. It is an oil baste economy. Now that I think of it…Jamaican Grill Night starts next Wednesday 5-8 pm...

We have two new baby goats on the farm strictly for the purposes of breeding. I urge you to come to the farm to pick berries and vegetables. Due to government regulations I can not suggest you visit the farm to view the animals as the farm would be required to seek a federal permit if we did make that suggestion (We have been advised of this fact by a state employee who seems to have nothing better to do with their time). When you are picking crops please do not be entertained by any of the livestock that we are breeding for commercial purposes. The young turkeys are for Thanksgiving dinner, the sheep and alpacas are for wool, the chickens and ducks are for eggs, and the jackasses are for writing government regulations.

Father’s Day, Sunday June 20th from 11 to 3 is our Father’s Day Buffet... The kid’s get to decorate a plant for Dad as well. I was planning to offer games such as pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey but that is a form of animal entertainment.

Farmer Ron